Guest Post: The Five “Travel Companion” Commandments

Here are five “commandments” or topics of advice for budget traveling with a friend. While traveling with a program (or large group), stranger, or significant other all have their benefits, these tips pertain strictly to traveling with close friend and companion.

1. Manage expectations: Before you decide to do some traveling, truly analyze the reasoning behind your decision. Identify, compare and weigh these reasons. You have to answer some important questions –What are your alternatives to traveling? Are doing some soul searching? Are you trying to escape or run from something? Or are you looking for a challenge? Do you have excess money? Are you hoping to learn a new language? Will you be pursuing artistic endeavors (photography, writing, etc)? Are you a foodie? Do you have a bucket list? Are you looking to experience the world’s beautiful landscapes? Do you want to go on epic adventures? Are you curious about a place or culture? Do you want to develop a global perspective? Will you be conducting research, business or networking? Do you want to meet new people? Are you scouting out your future home? Do you want to contribute to globalization? Are you looking for love?

These are just some of the questions –in no particular order of importance– you must ask yourself and as well as your traveling companion. You each have to discern which questions hold the most importance and answer them. Answering them with “Ehh..I don’t know” or “I’m up for whatever” is not ideal. Don't pretend like you’re this jack of all trades explorer who can just hop on a plane to wherever and make it work. While being spontaneous and uninhibited can be admirable, it is usually unrealistic. Make a venn diagram and manage your expectations–in the long run you’ll be glad you did. When traveling with a companion it’s vital to be on the same page regarding expectations. Clashing travel expectations, goals or objectives can lead to future issues.

2. Budget: Budgeting is something I struggled with directly; luckily Garrett is such a great guy and helped me out. So I highly recommend that before making any pre trip purchases, discuss EVERYTHING regarding finances. Transparency is necessary to avoid preventable difficulties and ultimately trip disruptions. Coming to a consensus in regards to potential shared costs such as accommodation, transportation, food, excursions, and nightlife is absolutely essential (and possibly travel gear).

Now it’s worth mentioning there are levels to budget traveling. While in China, buying 31 hour seat ticket versus a sleeper in order to save roughly $15 may help your pockets but includes 31 hours on an overpopulated car with non-stop banter, constant cigarette smoke, and “creative” sleepers. You are in Tokyo and “couchsurfing” is fruitless but you cannot afford that luxury hostel despite the temptation. . .What now? The question remains: Do you want to be LA homeless or Stockholm homeless for the night(research Sweden’s Welfare program)? During times like this Garrett and I used multiple damp curbs as our cushy pillows, while intermittently being woken up by disturbingly polite security officers every hour.

Decide how you will share. You can try methods like making a money pool, utilizing venmo, or simply try to work on withdrawing/spending money at a (mostly) synchronized pace. Additionally try to remember there will be those inevitable and unforeseen costs such as buying an attractive person an overpriced drink (Garrett) or missing a flight, train or bus. Though you will almost definitely deviate from it, if you remain extremely collaborative, precise and honest when organizing the budget, you will have the best chance at saving your dough.

3. Communication: You and your companion are a two man team. A Dynamic duo. Think Kobe (me) and Shaq (Garrett). Think Drake (Me) and 40 (Garrett). You have to pick each other up when you are down and of course you must have each others back. Situations get tense–we almost got abducted by pirates off the coast of thailand. You should definitely exchange all emergency information (Address, contacts, passport photos, etc). Before that inevitable separation or event occurs discuss any emergency procedures that may need to be followed. Be vocal–always tell one another any ideas, plans, or decisions. Never assume or withhold information. Additionally take turns leading, selecting activities, navigating and sending couchsurfing requests. Share responsibility–whoever the leader is should still actively involve the other person. If you meet someone and they invite you somewhere, always include or warn your teammate (or ask if she has a friend, cousin or dog to ease your friends jealousy). On the road, whatever I did affected Garrett and vice-versa (like when he gets kicked out of bars for looking too drunk)–so be considerate.

4. Friendship: Garrett and I have known each other since the first grade. So while traveling I didn't really discover anything significantly new about him that I didn’t already know (that would probably mean we had a pretty whack 15 year friendship if I did). However I encourage you to embrace this intimate opportunity to strengthen the bond of your relationship. Through doing this you must remember that traveling with someone for extended periods could destroy this bond. The only comparable experience would be if you lived with that person in a one bedroom apartment. On the road, you see that face EVERY DAMN DAY. Check any pet peeves and pettiness. Arguments are natural but passive aggressiveness is futile–openly discuss any tension. Most arguments stem from surrounding circumstances so try to translate any hostile energy into finding solutions instead of complaining and blaming. Learn to compromise and adapt while sustaining your selfish and egotistical needs. For example: Garrett has a tendency to obliviously walk very close to me (sometimes bumping into me smh), when storytelling in public. I hated that sh*t. . . but I would maneuver through oncoming pedestrians, thus creating a buffer between myself and Garrett in order to solve this problem. And Garrett hated when I would (pathetically) struggle to negotiate with locals for extended periods of time. I’m unsure of what his solution was but eventually he found his coping method. Overall, as long as you truly know your friend/companion, then there should be limited surprises; if you don't, you're f**ked.

5. Home: Traveling with your childhood buddy offers the exclusive privilege of being nostalgic together–welcome it. Despite all the thrills, at times the journey can offer equal amounts of loneliness, FOMO, fatigue, boredom and existential thoughts. Time traveling back home in your imagination can be therapeutic and a healthy reminder of why you left. As Garrett and I are from one of the biggest states in the U.S. and best places in the world, we had plenty to reminisce about.

We were essentially without music because someone gave a 20% effort when searching for his phone before boarding a flight to China (me) and the other person thought it was a good idea to loose his phone over a bag of chips while in Shanghai (Garrett). However we still managed to find time to analyze Drake’s discography every few weeks. No burritos–no problem, because a debate about Gordos being overrated occurred. Sports, past relationships, school, films, technology and friendly gossip were regulars. Garrett would describe his vivid David Lynchesque dreams to me and in return I would share with him my future life plans. Additionally expect locals and fellow travelers to become excited to meet Americans and feel compelled to ask your opinion on some presidential candidate (we all know which one).

Finally, take advantage of being with someone who shares the same roots. Even if it's merely redundant gossip or discussion of past events, speaking in you local (bay area) slang is like code around wannabe english speakers. Americans are often few and far between on the road so many people won’t understand your perspective or situation. It’s an absolute joy exchanging cultures but it's also refreshing when someone gets the joke. Learn to take a piece of home along with you–without globalizing.